I'm workin' for a TV network but watching television is really isn't my thing. I'm proud of my show, i'm proud of my network but i dont get to watch its shows--all because i'm not a TV person. I can live my whole life through without it. But today, it's a miracle that my eyes got glued on the tv set. I saw commercials featuring politicians, those ones who will obviously run for the 2010 elections. My friend told me that those ads are being shown for a couple of months already. Geez! I just find it annoying because it's two years away from the next presidential election and yet, they are starting to be visible in the eyes of the state. Yeah, maybe it's none of my business but it really pisses me off. It's so evident that they're telling people to vote for them. I just hope that the money used for those public service ads, (of PAG-IBIG in particular) is not from the government's funds. But i doubt it. LOLZ! Where do the government's funds come from? From the people, and who are the people? It's US! Imagine, nakaka-pangampanya sila ng libre????? Tskkk.

Ok.. stop... enough of that crap. This is not actually the topic that i'd like to write about.

Getting out of my shell is my biggest struggle now. I want to say bye-bye to my comfort zone. I've been so afraid to leave the things and places i got  used to. Whew!!! Goodbyes suck, you know and the thought of leaving something and someone so dear to me makes me cry a river of tears. It's just so hard to depart from the people you have learned to love and from the things you always do. Now, i'm somewhere in the middle of staying and leaving. I'm afraid because it's really dangerous to step out of your door, especially when you don't know what's waiting for you outside. Will i survive in the world which nature is way, way different from where i am now? I learn easily, i can adapt to anything without sweating but what if when i get out of here, i screw up? Honestly, i'm scared. That's why i can't make up my mind. But the desire to do the thing that I'm afraid of is still here. I crave for the new world, but i'm scared. I'm scared of the pain that i'll go through when i leave and the risks along my way.

With this, i have proven that emotionally, i'm not matured enough. I always have difficulties with dealing with my emotions and it's apparently affecting my decisions. What happened to me? Havin a hard time to figure it out. I always knew what i wanted to do with my life but now i'm lost. I'm searching for myself. It feels like my soul has left my body, and it's wandering somewhere outside this world.

Boo-hooo!