Ah, tis’ the season of sorrow. It seems that death is all around. My friend is dead. My future father in law (cuz my sisiter ain’t mary his son yet) are also dead. And I realize that death are inevitable, we all are nothing but a mere battery that it’s life span are already decided or determined. When our power bar are over, there’s no turning back, ain’t no charger can save us.

It’s sad that we, as a creature are disposable, if being compared to battery. And it’s make me wonder wether our life is really precious, or worth living for, because, it seems that when we we’re dead, we’re just dead. A pound of flesh, just a pile of garbage corpes, tec, yada-yada-yada.

Enough with the gloomy parts, what I found interesting about death, is the funeral, especially in my friends funeral. My friend are always considering thet death are something fascinating, he likes something flashy and glamour, so just like Sid Vicious of Sex Pistol said “Live fast die young”. And this guy just like me, we ain’t tainted by harsh reality, we could reserve our so-called innocence (I remember when we were asked who do you wanna grown up to be? I said Batman, he said Superman, while every other kids are polluted by material thought and earthly possesion such as being a millionere, businessman, doctor, etc. Or probably we just a dork or something). He is the type of guy who always ready to be dead at every moment in his life (whether he is ready to be out runned by a bus and his dead body are almost impossible to be identified is a question that I can’t answer). He even already prepared his funeral anthem “I have a dream” by ABBA (odd choice if you ask me).

And thus came the funeral day, he’s dead and I couldn’t find ABBA record, so I just have to settle with Westlife (the boyband). I could never imagined that I will sing a boyband song (even in karaoke, even if it’s ABBA cover version), and the worst part is, I cried when I’m sing that song. At that moment I know why he chose that song as a funeral anthem. The lyrics are so damn beautiful.

“I believe in angel, something good in everything I see …” that remind me of him, and that’s maybe why he likes Superman and all that stupid-naïve atributes, while he likes me because I’m the yang (while he is the ying), just like Batman and all his grey-pessimistic-gloomy atributes. That lines really hit-right at the spot and taught me how to be more optimistic, to have faith in people. “I cross the street, I have a dream …” that also taught me, dare me to have a dream. I always live my life with no hopes, no dream. Just like Batman who never trust others, never see good thing in everything and never dare to dream, even hope. Cuz I know that with no expectation, I won’t be dissapointed, I won’t get hurt. So I just shut myself, and put some gap between me and the rest of the world.

But with his dead, and just like with Superman dead, I know I have to change something in my ways. I have to have a dream, or even a hope. A hope is a hope, even if it’s only a hope, only a vague, vain hope. I have to expect the best while still prepared for the worst. I have to be more optimistic, even if I think, just like Paramore’s song “for a pessimistic, I’m quite optimistic”.

So in his funeral we all sing that dreaded song by Westlife, we cry, we laugh just like no tomorrow. And I’m kinda sad cuz I know when I’m dead I think no one will grant my wish to sing “not falling” by Mudvayne (If I die in peace) or Saves the Day’s “at your funeral” (if I die in the most gruesome way, or atleast I die as a jerk). I think people afraid that my song will wake up people who already dead before me huh?!

NB:   If you can read this, or know how I feel, I already miss you bro. Rest in peace (or rest in pieces in your cases you smart ass. One good advice Loosen up tight ass ^_!)