I’m so dead tired today. I was really walking all over the place in my office for today. Things just keep hitting you and you have to settle them. And I was not using my brain. Went to the washroom to wash my hand but forget to bring my toothbrush and paste along to brush after lunch. Then have to do extra walking again. Luckily I am seeing mark today. Then I can get to slp in his arm. But seriously, I tink that I love him more than he love me. He always says that he loves me but his action doesn’t show. Talk is cheap and I want to see some actions. It would be nice if he sent me some flowers. Or try to sms more to me and say that he misses me. I want to see that my bf is willing to pay for small little things without prompting from me too. Sometimes, I really felt more like the guy in this love. Pay for the drinks or wait for him during our date. If I have to pick at his fault and compare him to other guys, I will say he needs a big improvement. Very big. There are so many things that I want to change abt him. His breath, his manner of talking and his lack of thoughtfulness.

Sadly I am going to stop missing him from today onwards. If not my heart cannot take it and the tears will nv stop flowing for him. I just cry on the bus ytd, thinking abt us and his reply. I say that I wish I could see him everyday. I guess my words scared him off. He didn’t say that he miss me. Instead he was telling me how he was going to have his dinner in Changi Airport and wait for parents and drive them home. Oh great, I don’t really want to know that. Or know how rich ur parent is or that u have a car. I just wanted to see ur concern for me. Anyway I dun want to sms him too often form now on cos the answer he gave is not something I always want to hear. Though some of the sms are really sweet but most of the time they are not gd engh. T.T However I still wanted to be with him. It just waits for him to kick me off. It is just so tough to get another guy. Love can be such a sad affair. I got to stop imagining all the possible sad scenarios that go so wrong for us. I really have to work out the best in this moment and in this relationship. I don’t want to waste my time doing something that felt wrong. I still believe that I like him. Or do I? (no, I am going to avoid this question..)