So, my flu has faded away and left me with a pretty bad case of laryngitis. I’m fine not having a voice, even if unable to go to work because of it. In wrapping some Christmas presents and trying not to become daunted by the list of things I need to do today, it appears that I am just continuing with the usual and looking for ways to put off my priorities...while using MTVAsia as the chosen scapegoat – a worthy one, indeed.
Be that it may, I’m not sure if anyone is actually reading these words from my mind…but I have a lot of them constantly running through my head – and nobody to share it with. Consequently, my blogging is, in part, a chance for me to record some of this internal dialogue onto a more tangible form...maybe I can make more sense of myself then. Although I may not look the part, I’m a pretty analytical introvert - to the fullest. I’m perfectly happy sitting home alone on a Friday AND Saturday night in my robe and slippers, reading or writing, with a glass of ice water. In fact, during my leisure time, I actually find the most enjoyment out of life by doing just that. Which brings me to my 2008 resolution – I need to get out more.
Contrary to popular belief, reading has the potential to be harmful …for some situations, too much information just isn’t a good thing. I have enough thoughts to sifter through as it is…and I’m beginning to feel somewhat socially-inept with people my own age when engaged in conversation, particularly true with younger, single men. When considering I loathe talking on the phone, watch absolutely no television, rarely listen to the radio, and read more than I sleep, what do you expect? Yes, I will sometimes [unintentionally] use “big words” when I talk to you, especially if it’s a topic I’m passionate about…
Now, can somebody please tell me – just where is the common ground here?! I’ve grown tired of having to “dumb it down” a level or two just for the sake of some guy (one I probably had no desire to speak with in the first place) to be able to walk away feeling confident in his skills, or lack thereof, with women. Sure, it’s true - some men find “smart” women appealing, but more often is the case that they view them to be somewhat intimidating. Could this trace back to our genetic programming? A possible result of the competitiveness etched deeply into a male's nature? They thirst for a challenge, but dislike when others challenge their scripted (and equally-skewed) ideas of what marriage is to ultimately be. Do you want a wife or a rival? That is, one whose intelligence may potentially rival your own place on that patriarchal throne?
To these poor souls, I can only offer the notion that an inferiority complex was shown to be preexisting for quite some time in the absence of any woman. In short, it’s that happy median I seek to achieve with the potential suitors of my generation…while not coming off as pompous, or a poser, in the process. How’s that for alliteration?! Perhaps this is why, more times than not, I’m marginally-insulted by random men complimenting me on my looks…it just completely disregards and undermines the main factor which, in my eyes, distinguishes me apart from other women – my beautiful mind.
I love to read. I love to write. I love to talk. I love to learn. I love language… Wow! Did you actually read through my tangential rant? Were you able to relate to any of it? If so, I would love to be your blogger friend. I have very few; however, quality over quantity is my usual preference - and so it will remain.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Elle. If I had to offer you just one sentence to sum up who I am, it would go something like this, "I often feel like my brain was placed inside the wrong body."
Seriously...