I spent an hour and a half reading someone else's testimonials and I cant help but feel jealous towards his alleged "friends".

I dont understand why but somehow I feel like Ive overreacted. Take this: when Im done reading every word his friends wrote for him, I asked myself: " Why did they invented friendster in the first place?" --- duh, ryt?

Then I told myself: GET A LIFE, Hazee and move on,

Yeah. I know I should try something else for a change and try to forget things unclear to me. For once, I admit Im boring my life with something thats not worth thinking about.

Anyway, I wanna tell myself that i am in no position to feel what Im feeling right now. Im acting like I own him when in fact, we never FORMALLY talked about it.

I just happen to love someone who would not dare speak for his own good. I love someone so popular that even my friends go gaga over him.

Ive tried so hard to make myself realize the peril of loving him too much but I cant resist it.

I told myself that when he said he loves me, he dont really mean it. or maybe he said that because we're really close and he loves me as a friend. That's it. No big deal. Im just making it complicated by putting meanings to what he said.

Then maybe he never really said I love you. Maybe he said something else and I just thought I heard him say it because thats what I want to hear in the first place.

Then sometimes I cant help myself wondering who the hell that "Misis" is... someone he flirted with during HS days, I suppose. But who the hell is she? Who  is that soemone who called him "baby" in one of his testimonials?  I know its ages ago but I know I have to know. At least to make me feel better. and I cant help myself from asking.

Again, I dont want to make things complicated. I commanded myself to take our pics off my bedside table but I didnt. I canT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!