▶play//ne-yo - so sick

sigh. i was supposed to sleep, but i kept tossing and turning... i hate whining, but it's all i seem to do...

♬~And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?~♬

my whole body is hurting... my heart feels like it's going to explode... i remember a time i used to feel like this in our first few months... beating myself up cos i'm not good enough for you, though you've never told me so...

why can't i let go of what is no more? i wish i really could just go... to just forget about everything... sigh. there is no medecine for this pain... no drug, no drink nor smoke can make me forget this... i may have not tried them, but i know. why else do they complain then?

i know that only being alive will i be able to make a difference... but right now, in this position... like you said, what can we do? i'm so stressed... my head feels like it's going to explode... i feel like a broken toy. sometimes, i can't laugh, can't smile, can't cry. and then, suddenly all hell breaks loose. my emotions are all over the place. i need an escape.

sleep.. even it eludes me. it takes me ages to sleep. i have days that i just don't sleep and just do things, but it still doesn't ease me. i need sleep, but it's pushing me away too.

i really need an escape. i need to get everything out of my system. i want everything to be real to me again.

i really wish i could just say, 'f*ck love.' and mean it. i'm so sick of being so sad over something that's supposed to make me feel happiest.

i guess, no you, there is no love. just what it's supposed to be, and sadness.

nut, bas, ron, twinnie, wen, abang, wir, qam, dee, cyn, chris, cat, lassie.. OMG. LASSIEE!!!!!!!!!!! Happy belated 17th birthday babe!!!!!!! ='( i'm such an ass. see, i even forget my bestie's B'dae. argh. f*ucking hate myself.

oww. gotta control my expletives.

anyways, lassie, i'm gonna ✖plugg you here, and everyone else too:

♡lassie
♡dee
♡charlie & hana
♡jo
♡lassie's man - marcus

and i'm gonna get you that pressie i promised you ;) arrhh. everyone's in brunei, and i'm here. TxT

oooooohhhh!!!! found another nice fanfiction!!!!!!

♡My Mermaid

hmm. i think i really have to start immersing myself in a fantasy world again. sigh. and i really have to start playing my guitar.. shahrol, when are you gonna teaccchhhhh meeeeeee????

i guess i better stop now. maybe now i can sleep. maybe.

i love you Boo. it may not matter anymore, but i'm pathetic so i'll just tell you. i love you.


_x.♥