[Submitted by simplelyfe on August 30, 2007, 9:56 pm]
I can't stand it! I can't stand it anymore! My life sucks! Don't even know where am i! Here i am bringing food to school everyday in hope to save money. But all the money i save seems to dissapear... ALL SPENT ON My BRO... I got a $500 bucks award in school. I put it in my savings account. I DON'T WANNA USE IT LIKE I DID PREVIOUSLY. So i'm keeping it in there... But soon i realise... It still get's spent away but not for my sake... But for my Bro. I had to pay $100+ for his medications. BUt i guess its ok cuz its spent for a reason.. But' I'm very angry that bro just keeps spending money on fast food! The fact that he is on dialysis, he shouldn't be eating all these. He's so fussy! why can't he just eat home cooked food. He insists that i buy him fastfood all the time. Then when i say no and that i'll cook for him, he says that he doesn't want to eat anything else... So Frustrating..! i feel like eating a lot of things! I feel like eating Sushi, Mos Burger, Long Johns... so many more but i just dun show it and i just keep it to myself.. because i know i need to save money and fastfood is expensive. but it seems that all the money i save so that i can eat them gets spent away by Bro so that he can get what he wants! that's so sickening! He doesn't want to go for physiotherapy.. He keeps saying he wants to walk and work and go hang out with friends... yet he doesn't do enough to help himself achieve his goals.. I'm tired of him... I love him but i realise that this love is turning to anger... Now i think i hate him. I hate him! Why is life so unfair! Why is it my mum has to get cancer... why is it my mum have to leave me so soon. why is it my bro has to get kidney failure... why is it that bro has to get peritonitis? why is it God doesnt give bro a chance to do dialysis again? It's his first time! why is it other patients get peritonitis more than ten time and yet is still able to use their peritoneum? why? what did we do wrong to deserve this! what did i do wrong to deserve this? what do you want from me! why is it i have a family but they just don't seem to be there! why? why! Why! i just wish i could kill myself....
[Submitted by simplelyfe on August 19, 2007, 1:55 pm]
listen.
listen to me.
You say you are stressed,
but you are not in the city
you have not a project to submit
no bossy bosses you must meet
time allows you to befriend the television
it allows you to dream from the night to the late afternoon.
you say you are depressed,
when only for you you worry,
i say i am stressed,
sick, tired and in despair.
i'm lost in this city
late for submission of the pile of projects on my desk
i've got bossy bitches to face
time would kill me if i ever go near the telivision.
i dream yes...but on a quater everynight.
i worry for me....
i worry for time...
i worry for money....
i worry for you.
But i'm still living.
I'm not giving in
But you...
You're giving in
to yourself.
you can't control your body
cuz now your body controls you.
[Submitted by simplelyfe on August 8, 2007, 7:12 pm]
you know... things have been topsy turvy for me for a while.
1) I'm having problems with a friend...
2) My classmates have been quite stressed out because of the National day musical rehearsals i made them attend... Yes some of them are quite unhappy about it...
3)Bro's discharged but giving lots of problems...
4) my room's in a mess and i havent found time to clear it...:(
5)I've got a hole in my pocket...
yes it kinda sucks right now... I can feel my brain turning mushy... oh and number 6 is friends have been telling me that i have a black tone under my eyes... I'n TURNING INTO A PANDA! ARGGH!
well the good thing is that our NDP performance is over! AND the BEST part is WE WON FIRST PRICE! WOO PEE! BRo's discharged and is starting to walk :)Thats good! I can't wait to see him run! next, I have a 4 day weekend! so i can tidy up my room! Hurray! THAT ALSO MEANS THAT I CAN CATHCH UP ON MY SLEEP and HOPEFULLY SAY GOOBYE DARK EYE CIRCLES! yay!
1) I'm having problems with a friend...
2) My classmates have been quite stressed out because of the National day musical rehearsals i made them attend... Yes some of them are quite unhappy about it...
3)Bro's discharged but giving lots of problems...
4) my room's in a mess and i havent found time to clear it...:(
5)I've got a hole in my pocket...
yes it kinda sucks right now... I can feel my brain turning mushy... oh and number 6 is friends have been telling me that i have a black tone under my eyes... I'n TURNING INTO A PANDA! ARGGH!
well the good thing is that our NDP performance is over! AND the BEST part is WE WON FIRST PRICE! WOO PEE! BRo's discharged and is starting to walk :)Thats good! I can't wait to see him run! next, I have a 4 day weekend! so i can tidy up my room! Hurray! THAT ALSO MEANS THAT I CAN CATHCH UP ON MY SLEEP and HOPEFULLY SAY GOOBYE DARK EYE CIRCLES! yay!
[Submitted by simplelyfe on July 12, 2007, 6:54 pm]
The second hand of the old wooden clock
Trudged to the next digit; its next stop
By now, the stench of revenge hanged high in the air
And the pungent smell of blood now, everywhere
Chin-na! Chin-na!
They hollered as they raided flats,
They were armed with swords and bayonets,
All Chinese, the young, the sick
Even the “Amah” across the street
Herded like cattle along Hill Street.
Oblivious and befuddled they were,
And their faces, white with fear,
As the battle for their life drew near.
A “purification” they say
That wasn’t pure in any way
Extermination of all anti-japanese: a MUST
But the verdict: UNJUST
It would be a bliss to be missed
And be given the chop of life
Without it, you might have to die
Those assumed to be anti-Japanese
Were taken away in trucks,
To Changi Beach and Pulau Blakang Mati
Where the bell for the massacre struck
They stood in a line by the shore
Praying for mercy, nothing more
Bang! The machine guns were shot
And face down in to the waters they fell
Where their blood never clots
But flows deep into the sea bed
Turning the blue sea to red
With the patriotic hurricanes in my heart still stirring.
I joined the British as an undercover agent
Involved in espionage, sabotage and subversion
I smuggled secret documents to Malaya
Through checkpoints set up by Japanese troops
I had to be someone I’m not
Hiding my emotions to protect myself
Just like pretending to feel cold when your’re hot.
I had to be responsive and alert
God help me if I am slow in doing so.
Save me so I can help save Syonanto.
March 26, 1944
I was captured by the Japs
And so vividly I recall,
The dreading two-hour-long torment
The pain, I knew I had to withstand
To protect my comrades, my friends
With their hands, legs and wooden sticks
I was slapped, whipped, punched and kicked
“I know nothing!” I maintained my stand
I was determined to fight till the end
Beat me and bash me till I die
I’ll still cling on to this lie.
As I know the truth told or untold
Being captured meant only death.
Chin-na! Chin-na!
A “purification” they say
Those assumed to be anti-Japanese
With the patriotic hurricanes in my heart still stirring.
March 26, 1944
[Submitted by simplelyfe on July 1, 2007, 3:19 pm]
Dear Bro,
I'm really proud of you. I'm glad that you are doing all you can to get yourself back on track. I know the days and years have been tough. and i know you are tired and upset. But don't give up. We are here for you. I'll be here for you. I'm sure you know that. Keep up the GREAT WORK! HUGS! I LOVE YOU and I'd like to dedicate this song by Avril Lavigne to you. It's called "Keep Holding On"
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
I'm really proud of you. I'm glad that you are doing all you can to get yourself back on track. I know the days and years have been tough. and i know you are tired and upset. But don't give up. We are here for you. I'll be here for you. I'm sure you know that. Keep up the GREAT WORK! HUGS! I LOVE YOU and I'd like to dedicate this song by Avril Lavigne to you. It's called "Keep Holding On"
You're not alone
Keep holding on
So far away
Keep holding on
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
La da da da
Keep holding on
[Submitted by simplelyfe on June 22, 2007, 3:38 pm]
She's there but she's not there
her intentions, do beware
the good she does, not good
can't you tell she's wearing a hood
Her words you think, so kind
But wait until you find
the acid that it holds
your heart will soon corrode
as you see the truth unfold
and you find yourelf, unmoving
a spear pierced through your being
and she smiles at what she's grilling
for her dinner so fulfilling,
YOU
Trust me i've been there before
Been really busy during the hols... some hols i'm having... sigh just wrote this poem to let out some anger i have..... bout a friend.
Been really busy during the hols... some hols i'm having... sigh just wrote this poem to let out some anger i have..... bout a friend.
[Submitted by simplelyfe on June 6, 2007, 11:29 am]
To a very special friend who so unexpectedly appeared in our (me and my brother) life and made much difference it. It's amazing how strangers at first can suddenly become great friends. I pray that he is kept safe and sound throughout everyday of his life and all good things big or small come his way. This very special friend is Jon.
Dear Jon,
Dear Jon,
- I wrote this song to thank you for everything you have done. Even the smile you wear on your face. And the songs you sang and played on your guitar.My brother and I would love to sing it to you when we meet again. However, if it isn't good.. Forgive me:) I'm not professional.... haha. It's just something from the heart. Here it is:
-
With balloons in your arms, so beautiful
- You smiled, you said “hi”
- In a voice so warm, oh so wonderful
Oh yea with you were some friends- So kind, so sincere, so shy
- Somehow you stood out more
- And if you need a reason why
- I’ll tell you?
Chorus
You’re like the Sun in the sky- You brighten our life,
- The look in your eyes
- Your heart I can’t describe
- You’re the star in the sky
- You’re always in our minds
- Everyday everynight
- Your love so divine
Now that you are near- On this day so bright so beautiful
- This song’s for you to hear
- From our hearts, deeply greatful
Till the end of our life- Your face remains in our minds
- You’re the world in our eyes
- And if you need a reason why
- I’ll tell you
Chorus x2
In our hearts in our minds- Everyday everynight
- Your love so divine
- You smiled, you said “hi”
Your Love so Divine
You walked into our life
[Submitted by simplelyfe on June 4, 2007, 9:07 am]
- I saw you ask through your eyes
-
“You left without saying goodbye,
- Tell me… Why?”
- I stood before you, I replied….
- “I… I … I’m… not sure why…”
- Then in my heart I wanted to cry.
Then I said “I was scared…”- I knew you cared
- But somehow I feared that
- If I did that …
- You would ….
- runaway
- To a place faraway
- Because I misunderstood
- I didn’t want to be a fool
- To you.
And so I left- With a stone in that space in my heart
- It sure hurts to be apart
- Cuz this stone keeps growing
- Made me keep hoping
- That oneday I’ll see you again
And so here, tonight, I am before you- Looking in your honest eyes
- Inside me, the feeling so true
- I‘ll tell you now
- I won’t say goodbye
Instead, I’ll whisper to you- The words in my mind
- That, I took so long find
- “I love you…”
- Tell me… Why?”
[Submitted by simplelyfe on June 2, 2007, 10:13 pm]
Hello!fellow CAPPER FRIENDS especially e-Holland V! As you know, eastlife which consists of me, Cheryl and my friends, Hanis, Adriana, and Azira sang you guys a song called the CAP song. So here is the lyrics of the song so that you can sing along..It goes to the tune UPtown girls by Westlife
- Oh....... oh.......
- C.A.P.Whoo!
- you know that you're the one for me...
- i can't live without you C.A.P
- even though i sleep in plenaries
- i like the teas
- And when the councillors strike
- we go Aiyaiyai
- But it's ok cuz you're chio and you're shuaiyaiyai
- They say we're not so tough
- Just because
- we're......... in....... love......... with.
- C.A.P. whoo
- you know you're the one for me
- i can't live without you CAP
- even though the food is
- errm
- TAsty
- Fills my tummy(BURB)
- And when we sleep with the doors open wiiiiiiide
- the councillors come and they heave a big siiiiiiigggh
- they say we're sleeping like a pig dreaming of....
- dream of what ar?!
- C.A.P whoo!
- you know that you're the one for me
- i can't live without you CAP
- even though i sleep in plenaries
- i like the teas
- oh....... oh........
(graually breakdown)
CAP!
The end
- the councillors come and they heave a big siiiiiiigggh
- Just because
- we go Aiyaiyai
- you know that you're the one for me...
[Submitted by simplelyfe on June 2, 2007, 9:49 pm]
Yesterday, 1 june 2007 was the first day of June but the last day of CAP camp. I woke up this morning in a "bed" somewhat like a stretcher beside my bro's bed at NUH, still feeling that same feeling i had ever since i left CAP that night.
percussion did really well! HUrray! Special thanks to Mr Bala and his team for pushing us and adding so much rhythm and beat to our camp days and all the laughter you guys brought to percussion workshops. Special thanks to Min for so pateintly helping me get my rhythm right and also fixing the cane for me. The cane that had a split end. Also not forgetting my fellow friend, Yin Leng for practicing together with me to help me keep to the rhythm. I love you! oh, Mr Bale, No, We are not angry with you. Do have a good night sleep.
Councillors! You are the best! Thanks for keeping us safe. Thanks for everything you have done to make this camp such a memorable one. Brendan, do remember to bring gastric pills with you next time. Otherwise try massaging the area between your thumb and finger. i think your right side. they say it works. oh in case you don't know, you can get gastric pills from the pharmacy. There's Actal or Gelusil. I used to use those when i get my gastric pains. i didn't bring them to camp. Otherwise i could have given you one. Take care. Get regular meals! trust me! And Don't eat too fast! Olivia, thanks for taking care of us! We LOVE YOU COUNCILLORS!
Alumni. I'm sorry. i wanted to join you but i was afraid that i may not be able to cope as i have lots of commitments in school next year. BUt, i hope to contribut to CAP in anyway i can in future. even if i'm not in alumni. Can i?
ok i did not manage to give all of you notes that night. so here it is.______ Dear Charm, Steph and Pei Wen, amazing how we could just sit down, start talking and then suddenly become such close friends as if we met long before. REMEMBER stay happy or else i will... And i mean i will find you and start singing happy guiding songs! haha! ___________ Dear Ning jia and Daphne, You gals rawk for percussion! Well done! oh not forgetting you gals have really sweet smiles!______________ Dear Xun Wei, i can still remember you being really quiet throughout camp, and how i kept asking you why. :) i guess you are shy. I hope you enjoyed CAP camp as much as i did. Just something i've been wanting to tell you. Always love yourself, be proud of what you do, no one in this world is in any position to put you down. I can tell that you are hiding a side of you in that silence. Be yourself... be happy. the important thing is what makes you who you really are. Keep in touch!________ Dear Jerome, Thanks for being one of the most helpful ones in the group. i always see you lending a helping hand whenever there is a chance to. *smile* Take care! _________ Dear Patrick, Rachel Teo, Rachel Au-Yong, JIun Yang, Teen Li, Isabelle, Wenting and Zhicong, Keep in touch. didn't mage to talk to you people much. *frown* how i wished i had more time to get to know you all better! take care! and Best Wishes!