Hypochondriasis: Hypochondriasis (or hypochondria, sometimes referred to as health phobia) refers to an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness. Often, hypochondria persists even after a physician has evaluated a person and reassured them that their concerns about symptoms do not have an underlying medical basis or, if there is a medical illness, the concerns are far in excess of what is appropriate for the level of disease. Many people suffering from this disorder focus on a particular symptom as the catalyst of their worrying, such as gastro-intestinal problems, palpitations, or muscle fatigue.
nge! im hypochondriac?!!! wtf!
i dreaded going to clinics/hospitals so much. i always feel like something weird is going on in my body. i mustered all my courage and went to see a doctor last week, the time i spent in his clinic was one of the scariest experience ever. the interview, the injection and all the physical exams wer like a psychological torture. i dont want to do it again for heavensake! perhaps the worst part was the waiting period. oh gawd - the agony of waiting for the result doesnt give me peace of mind...i got the result and its ok.
at the bottom part of the prescription pad, the doctor jotted down: "... as needed for anxiety attack" - wtf!
but i feel that im getting better. i eat all three meals in a day now. but sometimes, maybe due to my tendency to overanalyze things, i feel unconvinced that im ok. am i depressed? am i entertaining so many unnecessary thoughts? shuld i resign from my job? - im not having fun at all.
san's weddin tomorow! im gonna buy a gift afterwork.
yuya yagira is 108 percent cuteness! i cant remember seeing him smile in the movie "nobody knows", this one, he got one big smile! i love him already...
another scenario, wen van gogh displayed his suicidal tendency by pointing a pistol to his head, the same people reacted by laughing at it! huh?! would u laugh wen somebody is contemplating suicide? its a very disturbing scene and laughing at it is jus a very stupid and weird reaction. wats wrong with them?
but i would say that the worst reaction from the audience was wen they laugh at something that is linked to culture! i find it downright stupid and rude, nevermind the foreigners present in the crowd, i presume they were french. there was a scene in the movie with people having fun in a dance hall. couples were dancing in a very snappy rhythm - the way they dance is something that we are not used to seeing in a couple's dance, for sure its how the french did it during that time. and the audience find this funny - they laugh at it as if its a comedy scene.
its soo distracting. we know that van gogh led a lonely and sad life, not to mention his eccentricities. wen i think of van gogh's life, i immediately associate it with melancholy like the color blue. so gloomy, so different from his paintings that are alive with vivid colors and bold strokes. van gogh was a madman!!! he was soo depressed!!! why did the audience reacted as if they were watching a comedy show??? it pissed me everytime they laugh! its not funny at all!!! i wasnt able to connect with the van gogh that we all now. stupid people - van gogh the movie is not a comedy show!!!!!
who would hav thought that a blood smeared corpse could be liken to a delicately beautiful cherry blossom? and they even call it purity! yukio mishima is amazing.
i reserved bargain books online- hopin the sale will push through sooner. nice titles and its really cheap! if ur in cebu, philippines and interested in books. drop me message, i will give u the details.
san is going to be married nex month.
i feel disgusted with the poem he wrote for me. its not flattering at all. it borders perversion.
french film fest nex week.
my dad's one year death anniversary nex week.
im in my former school right now.
thinking of visiting an archaelogical exhibition in my former school (different campus) tomorrw.
i think im gettin better.
no more paranoia please!
im semi tired of my job... i havnt earned much, so many bills to pay. maybe im gonna ditch my backpacking plans nex month. i stil dont hav enuf funds yet.
LSS: julie tearjerky - eraserheads
ooops! ive jus noticed it. mtvasiablog has a new contest. hmmm.. i really think that they shuld clean up this site first, coz there are lots of spam like accoutns advertising penis enlargement pills, viagra, etc....
i find it funny seeing my blogname besides words like penis etc...
hayz... honestly im botherd about my eating problem. im getting paranoid about this. this is not my first time though.
ive jus realized this. i spend most of my day facing the computer. eight hours of work with the computer, and then after work, the first thing i do wen i arrive home is turn on the computer.
am i really in love with him? yikes.. im talking romance. haha! not so me.
i hav enuf of that hayden kho scandal! cant find were to download the entire video. my officemate says hayden has a small load. heheh! watever, i still find him cute.
and oh! i watche Sabongero! its an indie short film included at Cannes. it was a special screening held in my former school. as expected, few people attended the event. its either not so much people here appreciate such kind of film or maybe, the organizer of the screening lack advertising.
and please.. im not into american idol. i know nothing about that Kris allen or adam somthing controversy.
mind over body.
LSS: take you on a cruise - interpol
love the lyrics!!!!
Tears drown in the wake of delight
There's nothing like this built today
You'll never see a finer ship in your life
We sail today
Tears drown in the wake of delight
There's nothing like this built today
You'll never see a finer ship
Or see a better tip in your life
im so delighted to find out that finally, a filipino won best director at the world's most prestigious film fest. though the audience are divided about his film, fact is, the jury liked his work.
if i may recall, raymond red won the award for best short film some years ago for anino. hopefuly nex year, a filipino film will capture the palm dor.
its Cannes!
http://www.festival-cannes.com/en/archives/ficheFilm/id/10901054/year/2009.html
so many things happend... get together with my good frends. E broke out her long silence about her secret illness, we were all shocked. but we're all glad she opened it up finally. now, we can understand her better.
thanks KL dear for the gift. it finally arrived.
finaly i hav saved up enuf cash. last friday, i went to the mall to pay bills, bought a pair of shoes, bought a novel by yukio mishima and treated myself to a lunch of steak. didnt like the food.
we are back on track in my company. hopefully we can fully recover from the damaged done. grr.. i dont want to look for another job. i dont care if im not having fun at all. i jus wan decent pay, i will jus figure out later how to get out of the monotony wen the economy picks up. i mis R already.
im bothered with something. its always been like this. eating problems again. im scared.
and theres something about gao xingjian style of artwork that captivates me. the simplicity and sometimes gloomy mood is soo me.
there are three novels i hav to finish before moving on to a new one. gao's nobel winner book is on my list of books to buy. wen i get ultra rich, i will buy paintings. i hav to make sure i will own one of his works, together with another favorite juvenal sanso.
errrr.. the party was bad as always. bad music. bad taste as always. wen will those people learn huh?
LSS: deep forest - sweet lullaby
waaaah!!!
backlog galore..
bleak times. my employment is in trouble. it has nothing to do with the economy. it could be that some people are incompetent in running a company, or maybe they jus got wrong strategy. other thing, some people are jus plain idiots.
im extremly knackered after encountering all those bad energy! im stressed... i shuld take stress tabs.
wat im gonna do tomorrow? learn to play mahjong??? heheh...thanks though im not into poker. watch slumdog?
thanks for my KL dear for being always there.
oh gawd! im downloading lady gaga songs!!!
its been so long since i last made a post.. backlog galoore..
i dont know why suddenly i get bored documenting my life, unlike before wen there was really this urge to write anything that happend to me, significant or not.
heres a roundup..
we finally transfered to a new apartment... thank gawd no more cockrach party at nights. im will never miss that that filthy smell from the back. the transfer though was like a logistics nightmare, thank gawd my uncle was there to help us, coz thers no way im gonna carry those heavy stuffs.
the new apratment tough is much cleaner but its old and built primarily of wood. its highly flammable i think, and the wooden floor has this creaky sound wen u walk. durin my first night, my sibling were out of the city... so i was alone, it was soo creepy.
last week! omg! a fire hit the neighborhood! its soo near my place.. we wer so scared that we started to pack some things in case the fire would reach our highly flamable apartment. thank gawd we wer spared. and the damaged: two blocks turned into ashes. watching the fireman fighting the flames was a like a scene in the movie. lourds was with me.
im now a regular at my work. getting my much deserve increase was such a struggle. i really hav to make some fuss out of it because there was an initial mistake, which the lower management ignored. i mustered all my guts to take the issue to the top management, and now almost twenty of us now receive a decent pay. it was really a big issue in my company that meetings wer held for it.
jus came from C's party.
INLOVE.. i did i cry..
my credit card is lost.
Chip Tsao is a moron. he should read jessica zafra's Unleashing Maid Power. racist doesnt hav a place in today's society. go to hongkong for shopping? think twice, go to BKK or SG or KL instead... unless Tsao issues an apology.
gawd! i made a clamor back in the office last week, and see the result, we now hav decent pay!
my credit card is lost. and i only hav 35 pesos left.