kasi lagi na lang sinasabi na kami pero hindi naman.. siya ba nagkakalat ng ganun o yun lang talaga iniisip ng ibang tao?? nakakainis kasi nagsasabi sila ng mga ganung bagay tapos mamimis-interpret ng mga relatives ko.. eh di mag-eexplain na naman ako.. naiinis na ko kaka-explain na hindi kami.. HINDI KAMI.!!!!!

nagkagustuhan pero wala sa point na pumasok na kami sa relationship.. ayoko pa.. alam niya un.. argh!!! pag babati sila, lagi na lang siya binabanggit.. anu ba yan?? pwede bang pag kakamustahin nila ako, hindi siya kasama? i don't want to be attached to anyone right now.. please lang.. sorry kung mababasa niya to.. yun ung talagang nararamdaman ko.. ndi ko masabi sau ng diretso eh.. i don't want to drive you away.. gusto ko friends pa rin.. pero feeling ko malabo un.. bahala na.. basta as of now, malabo.. talagang MALABO!!!

hot blogs. fart-machine: sleepless in manila. yeah!!! that's what i'm talking about.. hee hee.. ^_^

i don't know who exactly picks for that "hot blogs" thing. but, gee, thanks.. *blush*

i'd do more posts with SENSE, next time..

not everyone knows him. not even everyone knows his first name. not everyone laughs at his joke. not everyone loves his angst. so who am i talking about, really? someone by the name of professor maki. professor jonathan macaraig, to be exact.

he's our philosophy teacher--a short man with a "johnny depp-like" moustache, droopy, bloodshot eyes, like he was up late the whole night, and a voice that sounds like the green dinosaur's voice from toy story.

on our second meeting, he asked us what logic was. having no idea that we were to have a graded recitation, our jaws dropped and we were dumbfounded. he yelled at those who couldn't answer his questions. thank god, i wasn't one of them. some classmates of mine were totally embarrassed. most of us fell silent. but after that day, when he began discussing about logic, we figured that he wasn't as bad as we thought he was.

3 things to love about Prof. Maki:

1. his stories. he shares the weirdest and funniest stories ever. you would really laugh your heart out after hearing about his experiences during college, etc.

his father was about to die. his dad wanted him to do something before he leaves them.

dad: son, i... i want.. you.. to do something for me...if you don't accomplish it.... i will ..haunt you for the rest of your life.....

prof. maki: yes, dad. what is it?

dad: i want you to.... to... to make me a.. *deep breath*

(prof. maki eagerly waits for his father's answer)

dad: gawan mo ako ng.... pyramid na... BILOG...

last time i had a huge pile of home work on my bed, i nearly ripped my hair off my head. teachers from St. Scho-Westgrove give the hardest assignments ever. i used to arrive home at 6 pm and sleep at around 12 midnight. then i wake up at 5 in the morning, or even 3am if we have a long test, 'coz the school van arrives at 6am. i barely get enough sleep, i tell you.

same in college. last night, my eyes were so droopy that i could hardly understand what was printed on my Philippine History book. I did all i could to wake myself up. DRANK water, coz they say it works better than coffee. LOUDENED the volume of my FM radio. SPLASHED my face with water. but nothing seemed to work. i was longing to put my jacket on [coz it was, like, 26 degrees inside the room], lie down on my soft, cuddly pillow, cover myself up with my blanket and fall fast asleep.

it was almost 10pm and i still wasn't able to review for my History test the next day. i then decided to clean up "the dumpsite", aka MY BED coz i figured nothing would be stored in my sleepy mind for the next 15 minutes. i placed 3:35am on the alarm clock of my phone. i thought, "i could study early in the morning.." after that, I WAS ASLEEP.

at 3:35, the sound of a fire alarm woke me up. it was just my phone, thank God. i sat on my bed. wiped the "objects" off my eyes and went to the bathroom to pee. okay, so i really shouldn't have said that. anyway, just when YOU, and I, thought that i was going to get my book and start to work my butt off, i climbed my bed and started dozing off.

i woke up at 5:25am. still, i didn't open my book to memorize. instead, i took a bath and munched on a couple of cupcakes. at 6: 15, i was off to school, yawning. the gate of the Commerce Bldg. was still closed so i waited for a couple more minutes, wondering how i would memorize all 16 regions in the Philippines, the Philippine geography, etcetera. when i entered our empty classroom, i hurriedly grabbed my Philippine map and started murmuring.

last week was a difficult one. there were a lot of crying, cramming, stomach-grumbling and contemplating. what made things a bit awful was that there was no TV around to make me feel better. nor was there a box of chocolate to munch on during my i-miss-my-family-that's-why-i'm-crying sessions. the dormitory was where i usually hang out. after classes, i don't usually explore the vicinity of sampaloc. i'm still scared of snatchers and hustlers. in fact, i couldn't afford losing my cell phone. right now, it's my best friend. even though the rubber thing on the side of my phone is already peeling off, i still wouldn't trade it for any thing else. unless it's a brand new unit, of course. [ehem. i hope my tita from canada reads this. hehe.]  i also noticed that my watch was a bit loose. i'm already thin and i'm still losing some weight.

classes on our first week were okay. classmates were nice. i met stephanie, coey, frenie, joed and reina--my seatmates. i like MRS. RAQUEPO--filipino professor. she's old and frank--but i LOve her. Professor De Vera reminds me of my mom because she's chubby. hehe. Professor Matias and Professor Macaraig scared me--English-Philosophy, respectively. they're the type who would make me want to skip school. i was a bit intimidated but i want something challenging so i guess they're okay.

this week, everything's starting to become well. i'm starting to love and hate a lot of things here in Manila. unlike last week when all i cared about was riding a bus going to dagupan.

Mom is coming home next Wednesday. i couldn't wait for that. she sent me an SMS saying that she passed the interview for her application for CANADA. i prayed the rosary the night before and although i forgot how to recite the "Hail, Holy Queen.." God was still good. We don't have classes on Saturday coz it's MANILA DAY. that only means one thing: i COULD get a ride home. dad would fetch me at the bus station at dagupan coz i'd be there at 10 or 11pm. i'm so glad. shari's going to cubao for the weekend. it's her mom's birthday on Sunday. i'd be back on Sunday evening, i guess.. everything's working out fine. thank GOD!

back then, boracay was all i ever wanted to visit. i wanted to see the white sand, the clear blue water and the hot spots around the island. celebrating my 18th birthday there would be a dream. just hang out there with the whole family. wear shorts, tank top and flip flops. savor the relaxing weekend by walking along the shore barefooted.

now?all has changed. i don't yearn for boracay as much as i used to. what do i want now? run to the nearest bus station and go home--to dagupan, pangasinan. gosh! i miss my family so much. i don't care how expensive and tiring it is to travel from manila to pangasinan on a saturday aternoon then come back before classes start on monday morning. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND HUG MY DAD, MY GRANDMA, MY THREE ADORABLE BROTHERS AND MY SWEET SISTER. i cried a lot this week. one week in Manila without my family beside me was like HELL. i didn't know how i would survive. independence is crap. i hate independence. i want MY MAMA! mom's going home on JUne 28. something to look forward to, i guess. but 10 days of waiting? gosh. i don't think i could still take it.

pressure from school and homesickness made me thinner. i don't eat much. unlike before when i used to pig out on buttered toast. tita fe and tita tere accompanied me to buy my things in cubao. including my food. it was totally different. shopping without my lola or my mom. i felt so alone and yet i was walking with two people beside me. we went to VICTORY LINER to get my uniform and some money that my grandma sent me. i saw a bus leaving for dagupan. i nearly jumped on the bus! i miss them so much. i think i want to cry again.

if only dagupan was just a kilometer away, i would be willing to walk that long.

nine days to go before i become one of them,  before i become a true blue (or should i say yellow?) thomasian. yes, UST, get ready coz this bitch is going to dominate your campus. haha. i wish. like i'm that brave to do anything crazy on my first day in the university. oh my gosh. college. old. college. old. sheesh! for me, those two words are always connected. college is like a school for teenagers who are preparing to become old people. okay, so maybe i'm just exaggerating things. but adults are older people,right? and people in their 50's, 60's 70's 80's and 90's are old older people. so it doesn't make a huge difference at all. i guess. but anyway, i'm still not ready to become one of the "OLD people". in fact, i'm not too excited about UST or manila or the whole independence thing.

oh, cut the crap! i'd miss my own bed and my own pillow and my own room. i don't think i would handle being away from my family for so long. huhu. i get teary eyed just imagining life without my brothers and kiara. and i won't be able to continue living the life of a gorgeous and luxurious princess! oh, now you can hit me on the head. but seriously...i wanna go home. i mean right now. as in NOW. coz it's almost 9 in the evening and grandma would, like, kill me and ate jing if i won't stop blogging.

so, tata! and gud evening.. i'd continue this post some other time. better than getting my ass kicked by grama..