Dearly Beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
           Are we demented?
           Or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh theraphy, can you please fill the void?
           Am I retarded?
           Or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word and that's my best excuse 

Green Day

I am currently stuck in my house.  My whole family is out.  The thing is my door handle is loose or broken, I don't know.  This is terrible.  I was supposed to go for flag day today.  Damn this.  My teacher made it compulsory for my class.  This is bad.  What if he fails me for my APEL2 subject?!  

 I'm currently waiting for either my sister or my mom to return so that they can hopefully open the door for me. 

 Oh, and I just remembered.  I have a freakin' group assignment due Monday morning.  How am I gonna meet them?!

 Lastly, Sony is annoying.  I sent my notebook for major repairs a few days back.  Ahh...now blogging on my sister's notebook.  Hmph.


 

WICKED!

Ha-ha!

Everyday my day is ruined by some girl who is totally ignorant of how I feel. 

I came to school today recovering from a high fever and yep, no one seems to notice how I'm feeling so down today.  They just carry on annoying me.  To add to that, you had to snap at me as well.  So don't go blaming me for how I behaved today. 

At least there still are (though very little) some girls who are sensitive enough.  You know who you are and thanks.

Oh yes, thanks Elson.  You made me feel better (=

I've considered running away.  Not just running away from home.  That's silly.  I want to run away to some faraway island and live there. 

I'm usually a happy person.  Trust me.  I am insane at times.  But currently, no, I hate people and I can't bare with how things are going.

I feel so bad for not meeting Di this morning.  Supposed to meet him at 8am but I stood him up.  I know how annoying it is when someone is late or worse, a no show. I am awfully sorry about that.  This isn't the first time I stood him up.  God this is terrible.  The fact that everytime I am a no show and I say sorry to him,his humble reply of "It's OK" makes me feel terrible.

I had a high fever and everything else that comes with it.  I stayed in bed the whole day.  Nobody is at home so all day I've been popping Panadols hoping that I won't die today. 

Alvin invited me to watch Soccer tonight with Melanie.  I feel terrible but I also really want to go out.  I need fresh air.  I do feel a tad bit guilty if I were to go.  I didn't meet Di this morning yet I'm going to watch Soccer tonight. 

I want to pick up drumming.  Going to scout around this weekend for someone to teach me.  Blame it on Kenneth.  It's not all him, I've always wanted to do something exciting and interesting.  I think drumming might be it.

I'm going through alot right now. People don't understand.  I have come to the point where I can't even find comfort at home.  Home has become a place I try to avoid as far as I can.  These problems I am having now are affecting me.  I try to keep as much to myself.  People around me know less than a quarter of the problems I'm having.  Yesterday, I almost punched my friend over a small matter.  I just lost it.  I don't know what got into me.  They don't understand why I'm behaving the way I do now.  Please, you people know that I am really depressed right now, don't make situations worse.  Don't annoy me, that's all I'm saying.

The only two people who I am close to and can tell of my problems are not here with me.  One is my grandmother, and she is currently in Malaysia.  The other is my friend, who is really busy studying for the A-levels. 

Stuck in a rut. Life's a b*tch.  God knows.

My tests ended last Friday.  A few hours later, I found myself at the airport sending my friends off to Cambodia.  A few hugs and kisses later, they left.  So did Alvin and I.  We left, but not for home, instead to the new Budget Terminal at Changi Airport.  I swear it was a fecking waste of time.  We alighted the free coach service, entered the budget terminal, walked in for about 20 metres and left, less than a minute later...and I'm not exaggerating.  Oh, we took the same coach back to Terminal 2.  Brilliant.

I soooo mother fecking screwed ALL my term tests!  Sh*tt...this is not funny.  My Grade Point Average (GPA) is gonna drop.  It musn't drop or I might not make it to a local university.  I wanna do DESIGN! If my GPA is too low, I'll be stuck in the Information Technology line.  I don't want that to happen.

Friends coming back Tuesday. Paarrrtayy! ...then start on assignments.  4 assignments due end of this term break!

Had my database lab test this morning.

I'm so screwed.

I decided to look Gothic today. 

They were messing with my face. Adding moles, a weird sideburn and a line thingy from the side of my eye.  Gosh, its real tough to remove eyeliners.  Look at the amount they drew on my face! 

That would be Meiting, my beautician who did my eyes for me. I guess she did a pretty good job.  After all, she has all that experience doing it for herself. 

Kenneth and I

Mel and I

"Leadership and Character" tutorials are sooo boring.  I get hyper during lessons and not pay attention.  Its crazy.  The teacher doesn't really bother what we do during his tutorial.

I did something real stupid today.  I was digging my friend's bag and I found a tampon.   I didn't know what it was right up to the point where she almost stuffed it in my nose.  Everyone in class started laughing.   Apparently another friend of mine didn't know what it was either.  He was scrutinizing this little object before we told him it was a tampon.  He was like "Eee...yuck!" and threw it on the floor.  Annoying.

We saw the end of that tampon during dinner.  Placed it in a cup of water to see it expand.  Quite interesting but its weird cos we know the fate of other tampons.

While waiting for us to finish our group discussions, the teacher sat on the table and laid back.  It was like a Baywatch scene starring an old man. We snapped a pic of him while he wasn't looking.  I don't think I'll be uploading it.  Don't want to get into trouble here, do I?

So I fell asleep last night while I was supposed to keep Mel company on MSN Messenger. 

Mel:
> *cravings. sends Isa-Radio.doc
> eh chee byw
> *bye
> what the hell you doing
> you sleeping right!

I'm really sorry about that.  I fell asleep on my keyboard.  Hee.

After school we went to the school library to study for our coming Term Test.  We, however, ended up doing our assignments.  The ones who had completed were helping out and thank god they did.  I'm still not done with my assignment.  We're home now.  I'm supposed to complete this thousand word report by tomorrow.  Melanie is currently at home getting a headache doing MY report.  Honestly, I feel like sleeping but I can't go to sleep while Mel is hard at work doing my assignment.

 THANK YOU MEL!

Anyway, back to while we were at the library.  I got really bored after staring at my notebook screen for some time.  Melanie, yet again, decided to help me out while I de-stressed myself.  She has this cool helmet which she uses for her bike practicals and it was just there sitting on the table tempting me.  I picked it up and used it.  The next thing I knew, all of them were laughing at me and Di pounced at me before whacking my head left and right. He whacked me so hard that I fell on the library table with the helmet still on my head.

The one that made me throw a hysterical laughing fit was Alvin.  Alvin used it and started charging Di like a bull.  Before Alvin could even ram him down, Di whacked Alvin's head and there, he headed back like a drunk spaceman.

We're like nuts just now, but put yourself in our shoes and you'd understand too.