It's been quite a while since I last blog here.

Now, I'm back.

I've quit my part time job at Clarke Quay right before I got a new contract job at a local polytechnic.

And I can't wait for my Graduation Ceremony on this coming May.

The main reason why I suddenly have the interest to blog today is not to update about my life.

But I can't help it!

I just need to type it out.

I don't know if what I did is wrong or not.

I don't think that what I did is wrong.

At the same time, I also felt that what I did is wrong. Well, at least to myself.

I felt guilty. To myself, maybe.

I can't believe that in my entire life, I would ever have an infatuation with an old man.

Today, when I was eating out, I had one with an old man.

Married, with three kids.

His oldest child, which is a girl, should be around 15 years old.

And his younger sons have unique and nice-looking faces. When they grow up, I'm sure they'll be very handsome.

No comments about his wife.

-Sighed-

This old man has got a very sweet face.

The worse part is, I couldn't take my eyes off him.

I looked at him for countless times. And very long at each look. I really don't know if anyone noticed. I hope not.

Some of you may think that it's not wrong to look at men. I'm sure all girls/women did.

But the think is... He's old and married.

And I'm not a bitch!

When I said that maybe I did wrong, I didn't mean it to be doing wrong to him or his family. What I meant is, I think I did wrong to myself.

I really felt like slapping myself.

What I did was against my principles.

In the future, if I'm married, I'd never want girls/women to look at my husband with so much infatuation. Or worse, his mistress.

I start to wonder what my real name really means beside the meaning "complete".

So, I checked it out.

In Latin, it means "youth".

In English, it means "meadow". A meadow is some sort like a grassland, right?

Guess I like my name that goes with the Latin meaning only. Haha.

That's it!

Tomorrow I have to go back to school for some briefing even though I've graduated.

Blah!

I'm dreading...

For these past few days, my life is like a choo choo train.

I have no time to blog at all.

It had been moving so fast and now, it has suddenly stop.

Yup, my internship is over.

And officially, I've now graduated from polytechnic.

YEAH!

I have now got a diploma certificate.

Cool.

Suddenly, I have nothing to do with my hands.

I feel so lost.

I don't know what to do.

I know it's been some time since the first day of Chinese New Year. But something has been brought to my attention. 

It seems that the media likes to make a big hoo-hah out of New Year babies. Be it in a normal calendar or the Lunar Calendar.

These babies are like instant celebrities. They got to be on TV the moment they are born.

How cool is that?

On the first day of Chinese New Year this year, there was this very first baby who got a huge hamper and cash worth more than S$6000! Plus, he/she (I forgot the gender) got to be on TV!

In case you're wondering...

I was also a Chinese New Year baby!

Hahahahaha.

That's what my mum told me so.

I was born on the first day of Chinese New Year in the year of 1988. At the same time, I was a 'dragon' baby.

From what my mum told me, I also got a very huge hamper which had all the baby stuffs, and a cash of a few hundreds. Plus, a few kisses from some strangers.

In the 80's, I believe a few hundreds were considered a lot, right?

I don't know.

I asked her if I got to be on TV the moment I was bornt. Unfortunately, I wasn't.

Well...

At least I know I was worth something as a baby. And people loved me.

I mean... Why would they kiss me if they didn't love me, right?

So...

That goes to show that...

I WAS A POPULAR BABY!

I can't stop smiling because...

Tomorrow is a full day off from my internship!

And that means I have five holidays before Monday starts again. Boo to the Monday, thou.

I totally didn't expect it. I thought it's just gonna be half day tomorrow.

I don't have to wake up so early in the morning.

W00t!

Come to think of it, it's been a very long time since I last had a very long holidays. I hope to make the best it!

I can't stop smiling because...

My internship will end in exactly ten days later.

If I minus away the five holidays, that'll only be five days later. W00t!

And after that, I'll be like a wandering ghost with nowhere to go.

Because by then, I would have graduate officially from polytechnic! 

Hip Hip Hooray!

But then again...  

I would have to start looking for a real full-time job soon. Eeeeee.... 

I hope I don't have to quit my part-time job which I very much love.

I can't stop smiling because...

My birthday is coming soon!

In exactly twelve days laters, my age will no longer have a '1' in front.

I think you'd have guess my age. 

I want presents, presents and more presents!!!

Haha.

Nah... I'm no longer a kid to want presents. 

I want something else.

Something which money probably can't buy.

_____________________________________________________________________________

*Let me smile for now*

I just sighed loudly in the office.

NO THANKS to me for attracting unwanted attentions. 

-_-

Last time, I don't understand what others meant by "I hate you, but I love you".

Well, at least now I do.

The feeling sucks.

Really.

As much as I want to hate this person, and never to talk or look at him again...

There's no way I can do that.

Because I have to love him.

He is afterall him.

Why must he be part of my life?

This sucks.

-Sigh-

You may have a complete family. 

You may have the most friends in the world.

You may lead a healthy lifestyle.

But when things go wrong...

You really don't know who to turn to.

Or who to talk with.

Because they are only there to see your joys and your successes.

Not your sorrows or your downfalls.

And sometimes...

Their expectations on you are so high...

That they will never, ever expect any mistakes from you.

And if you make at least one mistake, that's it.

You're doomed.

And if you fall...

You will fall so hard that it will be hard for you to get up on your feet.

Because there's no one to help pick you up.

And only then will you realize that you're the loneliest person ever.

All of a sudden...

My hair stands.

Chills ran down my spine.

My heart skipped a beat.

And,

My mouth wide open.

Really.

The moment I open my blog, I saw something very scary.

I saw someone on my computer screen looking directly at me.

The look on his face is so creepy.

He was smiling menacingly at me.

It seems that he wants to kill me.

I really think he did.

Turns out the thing that scare the shit out of me for 2 seconds was the picture of the Joker that I posted on my earlier post.

And so I scare myself.

Yes, everyone is shocked by the death of Heath Ledger. I'm glad that he managed to complete his role as the Joker in the upcoming movie, The Dark Night.

I'm not only looking forward to the movie. As you know, his character causes a lot of buzz worldwide. Heath Ledger as a Joker is none that we've seen before.

He looks scarier than the original Joker that we've ever seen and his smile is so freaking eerie. He is one Joker to fear.

As a tribute to Heath Ledger, let us all watch his last appearance in the movie, The Dark Knight, which I believe is coming soon in theatres. 

Too bad he didn't make it to Tree of Life, thou.

Goodbye, Heath Ledger.