MAMA HAS A POINT
Mrs. Jenkins comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner...who lives with a female roommate Vikki...
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom 's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just roommates."
An Australian, a Kiwi and South African are in a bar one night having a beer.
All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. "In Seth Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice," he says.
The Kiwi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. "Wull mate, in Noo Zulland we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out the same glass either," he says.
The Australian, cool as a Koala, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and the Kiwi.
He turns to the astonished barman and says, "In Strailya mate, we have so many bloody South Africans and Kiwis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice...."
Another chicken adventure yesterday or should I say, chicken disaster. As usual we left home without eating breakfast and lunch just coffee for nick and a bar of chocolate for me. Then we went out to watch opa (Dutch for grandfather) and Katleen race. We've been having nice weather since last week, the sunny and not so cold breeze kind of weather and it's unsual at this time of the year because autumn is fast approaching but for opa it wasn't such a nice day, he didn't finish the race because he couldn't catch up with the other cyclists after a 5 laps. Katleen raced well though, 8th place or something. The diaper-guy won the race and no kidding he really wears diaper anywhere he goes, he's I think almost 80YO. Probably a good day for him. hahaha... One time opa said that that guy did not wear diaper while he was racing and he did kaka (Dutch for poo) in his cycling so he had to stop and he had to walk back to his car while the kaka keeps on falling. eeeew.
Anyway, after the race we went to opa's house to ask for potatoes because I wanted to buy frenchfries at the frenchfries store because they're so much better but Nick said that we better go to opa's and ask for fresh potatoes. Opa and oma (Dutch for grandmother) always stock so much food and we don't always want to go through all the trouble of peeling and cutting potatoes. It's a waste to go to the store and buy a small-sized sack of potato and have it rot. We chatted for a while and went home.
When we got home, Nick took the chicken, seasoned it and stuck it inside the oven while I was peeling and cutting the fries into pieces. After almost an hour of waiting, I placed the fries in the cooker and well you know how to cook good fries. :D
Finally the chicken was well done, judging from the color of the skin. We were so happy when we saw our chicken. But when we cut it, a stinky smell came out. So we had to throw it away. :( It was kapot (Dutch for distroy)... So frustrating. We had to settle for garnalen (shrimp rolls) and chicken wings when what we really wanted was a good roasted chicken.
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really awful day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12.01pm, the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, said to the man," Before I can let you in, you have to tell me what was happening in your life the day on which you died."
"No problem", the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment during my lunch hour and found my wife half-naked. I thought she was having an affair but her lover was nowhere in sight. Immediately, I began searching for him. My wife was shouting at me as I searched the apartment."
"Just as I was going to give up the search, I looked out onto the balcony and saw there was a man hanging over the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and jumped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die!"
"I was so mad that I went back inside to fetch something that I could throw at him. Strangely, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. So I unplugged it, pushed it to the balcony and tipped over the side. It fell the 25 stories and crushed the man. Unfortunately all this excitement was too much and I had a heart attack and died instantly!"
THIS IS SO CUTE
Keep smiling and have a Happy and Safe day
"IN God We
Trust"
THIS
IS TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!
A six-year-old boy
told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.
The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his
smile behind his hand.
"That's a serious step," he said. "Have
you thought it out completely?"
"Yes," his young son answered.
"We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right
across the street, so I can run home if I get
scared of the dark."
"How about transportation?" the father asked.
"I have my
wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.
The
boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally,
in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married,
you're liable to have babies, you know."
"We've thought about
that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies.
Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on
it.
You wrote a letter but you tore it apart, pieces of it lying on the ground when a friend of mine saw it. "I cannot forget of my Charlette", it says. I was caught in silence, words can't grasp my feelings. So I walked and walked trying to forget, still holding that small piece of paper you tore. Was there something between us? You never said a word. This is my dream last night and this is not the first time that I dreamt of you.
I remember you picked me up early Christmas morning, we drove to the beach but neither of us knew that friends would be their the same time. "We're waiting for someone", you said when Faith asked you what we were doing there together. Maybe you're embarrassed to be seen with me so we left the place right away but you just agreed we'd go to the beach the next day with them, i just cannot decipher you. We had dinner, we kissed but you didn't say a word at all. We were just friends, weren't we? You were always nice to me, you never failed to say kind words, you call me at your work, we see each other almost everyday, we play scrabble, you visit me at home, we have dinner with friends, spend nights together with other friends, laughing, eating, all those moments seemed endless and it was all fun. But you never say a word.
But when you start appearing in my dreams now telling me how you feel, it's a little late for that. It's better to leave things unsaid because then all the 'maybe' will come. maybe if you... but you didn't...
but maybe...
I would have chosen you.
is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people,
relationships and Existence.
they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks
people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove your own masks
to let people know yours.
Always appreciate what you have, for you never know when you might lose
it. And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is
the only guarantee you have.
state is a fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best you
can, it's the only thing you are sure to have forever.
When you encounter people who are different from you, don't judge them by
how they look or act; instead base your opinion on the contents of their
heart.
not always mean that person will love you back. But don't turn your
Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
New class started again. Most of my classmates are f
rom Russia and there are more students now than last sem. I'm glad I got the front seat otherwise I'd be sitting at the back of the class with tall people in front of me. :P
Silvia, probably in her early 40s is from Spain, I feel sorry for her because she's having a hard time understanding the language and she can barely speak French. My other "know-it-all-I'm-better-than-anyone-else" classmate always laughs at her. As if he's got something to show off, he's not even handsome plus he stinks! Maybe I should yell at him, "Hey stinky cover your mouth you're polluting the air!" lol. But then again maybe he understands English. I better do it in my dialect, "Hoy baho! paghilom diha kay nanimaho na kag maayo!"
Then I have this classmate, Islam, who is in his late 20s have a golden teeth! He's even proud to show it off. He laughs and smiles all the time, I think he's trying to make himself cute for Roza, my other Russian classmate. When he came to me and asked what my name was, my eyes really grew big when I saw his teeth! I wonder if they're real gold? LOL. otherwise it would have faded already. ahahahaha.. Ew, reminds me of that old James Bond film, The Moonraker, there was a guy there with his silver teeth. hahaha... People are wierd.
Ramzes, also Russian maybe a few years older than me is also strange. I think he's gay? He went to class with these snake-skinned, really pointed shoes with heels! His hair is all over his face and he wears really old fashioned clothes. Is he maybe the reincarnation of Ramses from Egypt? LOL.
Lastly, Joachim the only African in class. He sits on his chair quietly minding his own business. Nothing much to say about him.